그림 일기

멀리서 부터 이들의 소리가 들려 커튼을 열면 이렇게 마주칠 때가 있다.
약간 멍청한 듯한 꺼~억, 꺼~억 소리가 이 넘들을 만만하게 혹은 친근하게 만든다.
눈 뜨기 어려운 아침, 멀리서 부터 다가오는 그들의 소리가
나를 벌떡 일어나 창가로 달려가 즐겁게 인사하게 한다.

길 가다,
이 넘들 무리가 내 하늘 위를 날면,
한동안 그들을 바라보며 아련한 쉼을 갖는다.

On a mild day of spring, I had a gloomy problem. I always enjoyed dangerous adventures with friends on the block. In those days, we found new challenges in which to take pride. So we would bet on who was the bravest; for example, who can jump from the highest level? Who can climb a big tree? Who is able to go far away with closed eyes? However, something interrupted my matches at all times. That was my big shoes.

I would wear big shoes in my childhood. While I was running, my shoes often came off. My mother bought shoes bigger than our feet for my siblings and me because she thought we would grow out of them too quickly. I always used to walk ploddingly. However, there was a problem. My feet didn’t reach my mother’s expectation. Before my feet got big enough for those shoes, they already were worn out. 

One day, there was a more thrilling plan. The village kids gathered together on the roadside. One boy said, “I can catch the bumper of the truck that is coming and ski on my feet like I am water skiing.” We had a strong interest in this new and striking mission. We took shelter behind a bank while waiting for a truck.

Eventually, one truck came up to us and the boy jumped out and caught the truck’s back end. He was slipping while holding the running truck for a while and landed on the ground splendidly. We all were moved to admiration by his accomplished mission. He started to be inflated with pride. “Who is going to do like me?” This new mission looked very great but dangerous. We took a deep and long breath. I didn’t have confidence in success at all but couldn’t admit his triumph. So I went out and challenged it. While I was lying in wait at the back of the bank, my heart palpitated violently. I could see a truck approaching. I couldn’t breathe, but I squeezed the lids over my eyeballs and ran to the coming truck and then took hold of the truck. I successfully caught the truck, but at that moment, my big shoes came off and my steps started to be entangled. I let go of my hold of the truck out of fear. I fell over the sloping road and I received several wounds. My forehead got a big bruise and became blue and blood ran out from my wounded knee. My friends ran to the place where I fell to watch me. I felt more ashamed than hurt so I burst into tears because of my dishonor.

On my way home, another dread came to me. My mother always hated my challenges. She used to say things like, “What a rash thing you have done! Please, don’t do anything foolish.” I didn’t know how I could explain this situation. I plodded along toward home holding my big shoes in my hands in fearfulness.

When I saw my mother, I was seized with fear. “It was due to the big shoes. I hate big shoes.” I spoke with sobs, “Please, mom. My feet can’t grow up so fast! I want fitted shoes.” When my mother heard me, she welcomed me with a smile. Then she cleaned the wounds gently, rinsing the wounds and surrounding area with mild soap and warm water. I sipped warm soup and soon fell fast asleep that night.

I sometimes put on big shoes these days. They give me a tranquil heart. For some reason, they seem to give me an easy mind. Whenever I see big shoes, they make me think of imprudent adventures in my childhood. I remember I stood behind a door with dirty and torn clothing and wounds of honor after each adventure to avoid meeting my mother. I stand looking at my big shoes in front of the door now and then, bringing back my memories of my mother’s scolding yet gentle hands.

무지 하게 바빠야 하는 날,
오늘처럼 무수한 과제들이 나를 째려 보는 날은
우선 한판 자고,
평소 잘 들르지도 않던 블러그도 찾아와
괜히 스킨도 한번 바꾸어 주시고...

저들의 째려 봄 앞에 태연한 척...
웃으며 사진도 찍어 보지만,
그 웃음안에 불안함이 역역하다.














여기와서 정말 나 답지 않게
한 두시간 자고, 하루를 버틴 날들이 많다.
그렇다고 이런 기적같은 일들이 나의 근실한 삶을 보여 주는 것은 아니다.
평상시에 미루고, 또 미루어서 마감을 하루 앞둔 날 어찌 할 수 없어 밤을 새는
이런 미련한 패턴이 반복되는 것이지...끙.

아~, 나를 향해 따가운 눈총을 보내는 저들과 진정한 화해를 하고,
평상시에도 정말 친한 친구가 되었으면 좋으련만,
사랑한다. 이것들아!!!

책을 보다 우연히 창 밖으로 움직이는 것이 보였다.
고라니 비슷하게 생긴 이눔이 뭔지는 모르지만,
가까이 가서 보고 싶어서 집밖으로 나갔다.

놀라서 도망갈까봐 살금 살금
조심 조심 걸어서 가다 눈이 마주쳤다.
눈을 껌벅 껌벅 거리더니 도망치지 않고 나를 못 본 척 하며 왔다 갔다 한다.
그러더니 이눔이 슬금 슬금 내 쪽으로 다가 온다.
순간 내가 겁 먹었다.
등치도 만만치 않은데…

그래서 결국 내가 도망 들어 왔다. ㅡ.,ㅡ;;